Last day at work

My hands are still aching from the innumerable handshakes that were part of my goodbyes - well, I guess that's part o' da game.

Anyhow, won't dwell on this one too long - really nothing much to say - a few fond farewells, a lot of casual tatas (there could have been a couple of bitter parting kicks too, but I was a good boy and shook hands with them too :-) ....)

So, now - forward march onto my next watering-hole!

An urban disaster in the making

Happy as I am about my decision to switch jobs, there's another factor which, over the last few days, is making me even more cheerful about joining Dell - and that is the fact that getting to office will be that much easier since I only have to traverse the Ring Road and bingo ! - I'm there.

Seriously, when are the morons in the corridors of power going to wake up ? The current government has used the non-Bangalore and pro-rural focus attitude to get to power, but they seem to have failed to realise a crucial fact - Bangalore is, by far, one of the brightest jewels in the Indian crown, and neglecting this city and its needs is a perfect recipe for disaster.

This latest rant of mine has been triggered by an article on pg. 3 of today's TOI, which, shamefully, reports the pending projects of road-repair and flyover-construction, the lack of ANY new development projects, the interminable delay in the airport (years of delay, no less), the pathetic state of the infrastructure, and to top it off, the disbanding and shutdown of the Bangalore Agenda Task Force (BATF), which was supposed to be instrumental in Bangalore's development.

At this rate, its only a year, or two at the most, before the city's infrastructure completely breaks down into shambles. Adding more pubs isn't a solution - your intoxication from an exotic cocktail can only last so long - after that, you have to make your way home over the same old potholed alleys, which we call roads.

Garden City ? One Lal Bagh does not a city make.

And to make matters worse, even the climate seems to have deserted this place - I've just about had enough of people telling me "don't worry, the rains normally start in another month's time" - I've been hearing that for more than 2 months now ! Half of May is gone, and all we have to show are 3 showers - this, from a city touted as having a hill-station climate, being the "cool" place (quite literally), and what not.

I love this city quite as much as any other person - but I'm sad to say that the way things are right now, its not long before it degenerates into an urban hellhole. The writing is on the wall.

New blog on the block...

Was talkin' to Nari the other day, about blogs, blogging and bloggers.....was also reminded of Jhamu's unforgettable comment - "hum blogega to bologe ki blogta hai" - precious...

Have decided to make use of the facility of having multiple blogs - hang on, don't worry...its gonna be just one more ; intend to devote that particular blog to my hobby of defence/military/space technology ; what was, what is and what (probably) will be.....(if we dont wipe ourselves off via Armageddon !)

This new blog of mine is titled Armed & Dangerous (original, eh ?...yuck)...couldn't think of anything better at the mo ; will rename mah baby soon, don'tya worry.....

The Final Countdown :-)

So here it is, finally - the first day of my last week in IBM.

Things are, quite predictably, hectic - the same old rigmarole of filling irrelevant forms which will gather dust in some dark corner of some forgotten cupboard, submitting online requests and feedback which no one will bother to go through, copying megabytes and gigabytes of supposedly "critical" data that I wouldn't wanna read even if spanked with a cane rod.....

Sometimes I just sit back, and wonder - is any of this needed ? Life will still go on - I will still survive, and drink as much, and love food as much, and be the same ol' mad-hatter as I ever was...and IBM is still going to remain the same old lumbering behemoth - the show always goes on.

Still, its been a good ride, and some moments have truly been jolly good fun, while others have been excruciating. I've preened myself on the tops, and struggled through the downs - met some good people, and roundly abused a few crass idiots - been there, done that, and looking back, its been an enjoyable 4 years - the rain and the shine.

Here's the beginning of the goodbye, and I hope everyone here does well, and I hope I do well for myself too - live and let live (and if that's not possible, then - live, and the world be damned !) :-)))

Sounds of Silence.....

For those of you who've heard this song, well, yes - I am talking about Simon & Garfunkel.

Been listening to them the whole afternoon, and the more I listen to them, the more I admire the timeless quality of those songs. First discovered S&G when I entered college (towards the end of the first year, if I remember correctly), and it has been a joyful experience over the years to discover how these simple lyrics captured the essence of the world as it was in the late 60's.

Even today, songs like "Sounds of Silence", "Mrs. Robinson", "Homeward Bound" and the rest strike a chord somewhere. This was indeed a magical combination - the incisive, yet touching lyrics penned by Paul Simon, coupled with the amazing vocal artistry of Art Garfunkel cut a swathe through the musical landscape of the 60's, and endures even today with the same freshness and emotion.

To provide a glimpse of the influence of their last album "Bridge Over Troubled Water"they had - here's an excerpt from the CD inlay :

"it spent ten weeks at number one in America, stayed on the British charts longer than any other album, collected more Grammy awards than any other album in rock history and went on to sell more than 11 million copies."

Suffice to say, that this was, without doubt, one of the greatest acts in musical history - a duo who reached out to the masses, the people, and spoke to them in their own inimitable style, and left an indelible mark on the minds and hearts of those they touched with their music.

A Ridiculous Read

Borrowed a novel from Biku last night to help while away the time - the book in question is "Edge of Danger" by Jack Higgins. And I can confidently assert that this is the worst novel that I have read in recent times.

The plot involves a half-Bedu, half-British family of the Rashids - Paul Rashid, his sister Kate and 2 other brothers - and another character called Sean Dillon, and a certain mix of other wishy-washy characters. The story starts off by portraying Paul as an extremely rich man who loves his family and retains his loyalty to the Bedu as well.

Then, following the death of his mother at the hands of a chap who is a wheeler-dealer for the Russians and Americans in their quest for oil in Arabia, and an attack on his life by the Bedu Sultan who has gone over to the Americans, Paul suddenly declares his intention to have revenge - and unfolds a plan to assassinate the US President (as part of a casual conversation by the fireside).

He recruits a henchman for the job, the henchman comes up with a plan in a week (!!!), and sets off to execute it within another few days ! He makes the attempt, fails (because the President's dog got in the way !!!), murders his associate Liam (who gets injured), makes a hash of that as well, because (miraculously !) Liam survives - but only long enough to spill the beans to the President's bodyguard.

Thereafter, Dillon and his cronies confront Paul, and after a flimsy scene, Paul walks away threatening of "alternatives" (??!!). And guess what, he comes up with an alternative plan to assasinate the Council of Elders in the Bedu land !!!

(Now, beg your pardon, Mr. Higgins, but most books about assasinations and revenge that I have read till date take such assasination attemtps a bit more seriously - I daresay you will find pages and pages devoted to the meticulous preparation for such attempts, but your characters appear to treat an assasination attempt (that too on the US President) as a little more than a walk in the park.)

Anyhow, off we go to Arabia, where Mr. Dillon foils the attempt again, by virtue of the fact that he comes to know all plans in the nick of time and manages to kill all the bad guys and manages to survive all attempts on his life and is, generally, the hero who saves the day.....

(Thanks again to Mr. Higgins, whose "killers" and "bad guys" appear to be either exceptionally underskilled, or excessively stupid, or extremely under-furnished with the appropriate weapons - or all of the above).

Hang on - it doesn't stop there ! Paul Rashid still isn't deterred, and now hatches a plot to kill the Soviet Premier who's due to visit England in a few days !!! (And guess what, the henchman fails again - stopped by Dillon, as usual).

The dialogues are stilted, the storyline is as weak and flimsy as you can get, the central characters have no aura about them - I could go on and on. I picked up the novel because I have heard a lot about the fellow, and his books - "The Eagle Has Landed" and other bestsellers. But, I'm sorry to say, Jack Higgins doesn't live up to his reputation, and the book appears to be a run-of-the-mill B-grade cheap thriller presented badly - it gives the impression of being a product of an assembly-line, rather than being a true creative work.

(And I wonder - were all those "smashing" newspaper reviews concocted, or were their critics sleeping ?????)

Of Cricket Coaches and India.....

So India's looking for a new cricket coach.....hmmm, should be an interesting ride - given BCCI's propensity to make a mess of even the simplest things, let's see what the mandarins and the powers-that-be come up with.

Would love to hear what Lord Sherawat has to say on the matter - a topic like this would be more appealing to people like Biku and Jham, who can relate cricket and football histories backwards. (I've never seen someone routinely stay awake till 4 am just to watch some cricket or football match - and then give a minute-by-minute account of the match a couple of months later !!!)

I wonder what it takes to be a cricket-coach ? And more pertinently, the coach of the Indian side ? There's the media, there's the spotlight, there's a billion crazy fans who wait with bated breath for every move and hotly debate each and every decision that's taken. Don't think its a job for the weak of heart or the squeamish ones.

Considering the fact that the Indian team pre- and post-John Wright are two virtually unrecognisable entities, the role of Wright's successor has become even more crucial. I know reams have already been written on the matter, but I wonder how many people actually stop for a minute and think about what exactly a coach can do and does with the team ? How do you connect with players of lofty international stature and bejewelled track-records and tell them to adjust their stance while batting ? Or maybe offer tips to a prime fast bowler about his run-up ?

It would be great to stand in John Wright's shoes for just a few moments to try and grasp the enormous complexity of the job that he's been doing so well over the years. It isn't just about the technique and the tactics - somehow I feel that for a coach to be truly successful, he has to connect with the minds of the players, and understand them at a psychological level. That's when you can mould the temperament of a side and instil the hunger to win, anywhere, anytime, time after time.

Here's wishing the best to BCCI and hoping that they make the right choice - only time will tell.

The Dangling Conversation

This is, by far, one of the most insightful songs I've ever listened to, and one that makes a telling comment...Bravo ! - Simon & Garfunkel - their music is refreshing, melodious, and has a ring of honesty that makes it priceless...and timeless.

The Dangling Conversation :

It's a still life water color,
Of a now late afternoon,
As the sun shines through the curtained lace,
And shadows wash the room.

And we sit and drink our coffee,
Couched in our indifference,
Like shells upon the shore,
You can hear the ocean roar.

In the dangling conversation,
And the superficial sighs,
The borders of our lives.

And you read your Emily Dickinson,
And I my Robert Frost,
And we note our place with bookmarkers,
That measure what we've lost.

Like a poem poorly written,
We are verses out of rhythm,
Couplets out of rhyme,
In syncopated time.

Lost in the dangling conversation,
And the superficial sighs,
Are the borders of our lives.

Yes, we speak of things that matter,
With words that must be said,
"Can analysis be worthwhile?"
"Is the theater really dead?"

And how the room is softly faded,
And I only kiss your shadow,
I cannot feel your hand,
You're a stranger now unto me.

Lost in the dangling conversation,
And the superficial sighs,
In the borders of our lives.

The Grzpak Files - Episode 1

Grzpak 1 : Mizoletta !

Grzpak 2 : Shimogu !

Grzpak 1 : Yeh did uoy kcech tuo siht ecalp ? sti gnizama edud - yllatot detsaw...

Grzpak 2 : Haey - sti neeb dekcuf lla thgir

Grzpak 1 : Uoy kniht sereht enoyna tfel ni ereh ? gnihtyreve skoll nezorf ot lleh

Grzpak 2 : Ew attog peek gnikool - uoy reven wonk tahw uoy emoc ssorca

Grzpak 1 : Yako lliw kcech - ma annog kcech ot eht tsae rof evif selim

Grzpak 2 : Enod - lli og tsew rof eht emas ecnatsid

Grzpak 1 : Enif ekat erac

Grzpak 2 : Uoy oot dna yats ni hcuot

[For those who came in late :
The 27th century dawns on a frozen earth, with most creatures having been wiped out a few minutes ago by a colossal meteor, which melts the polar ice cap and causes widespread flooding, sends a cloud of mini-asteroids and gases into space. The cloud shields the earth's surface from the benevolent sun, thus causing a sharp drop in atmospheric temperature and resultant freezing of all water bodies. On one such bleak surfaces lands a rocket, hurtling out of the sky in a fireball, and causing a crater 65 feet deep. The rocket, shaped like a phallus, discharges 2 creatures from Grzpo planet, and given above is the conversation they have an hour later after having toured their immediate surroundings.]

A Disturbing Phenomenon

Is it just a feeling I have, or has there actually been a sharp upswing in the number of rape cases being reported of late ?

Over the last week, every time that I have been to www.timesofindia.com to read the day's news, the first thing that catches my eye is (at least) 2 rape stories right on the front page ! The indications are disturbing, to say the least.

With over 5 decades of freedom behind us, feet firmly planted in the 21st century, and poised to become a leading player on the global stage, this kind of a statistic (or characteristic), is one that our society can well do without. The incidents that have been reported range from well-to-do brats raping a teenager in a car, to a minor being raped in some remote village and then being set ablaze ! This isn't just shameful - its barbaric in the extreme. There can be no justification for letting crimes like these occur, and it reflects poorly on our tall claims of being a mature civilisation when we have such inhuman creatures roaming the earth in the garb of men.

I don't know if we have capital punishment for these crimes, but I think maybe we should have - maybe the fear of death will act as a deterrent to these grotesquely perverted criminals. And I would like nothing better than to see well-to-do brats pulled down from their high-and-mighty perches and being lynched publicly - with as little regard for their lives as they have for the lives and dignity of others.

Weekend Bacchanalia

Don't think I've ever enjoyed a Monday morning in office - up until now, that is.What a wonderful feeling to waltz into the office way after 10, a lazy tread and secure in the (highly-satisfactory) knowledge that no one dare load me with any work :-)))

Am sitting here reminiscing about the weekend that was, and wondering how exactly to go about describing all that we did. If I had to choose one word for the weekend, it would be..... - (hic) !

Left office a tad early on Friday, helped Aarti round off her shopping for her 2-week-long trip up north, and went off to Nari's place to talk over the prices of some VCDs/DVDs that I was planning to buy. Before we knew it, there was less of talk and more of alcohol making its way down our oesophagus into the duodenum and destroying a bit more of our (already-decaying) livers.

That marked the beginning of our obeisance to Bacchus on the weekend, and what followed can best be described as non-stop Bacchanalia.....

Halfway through the drinks, my phone rang and I was duly informed by Mel that Act 2 of party-time was underway near Indiranagar dhaba (another of our watering-holes), with Rupayan, Indy 500 and Satish vying with each other for top honours in pool. Everyone's a bit hazy about who won and lost - suffice to say that the "accessories", in the shape of copius amounts of rum and whisky, were enough to keep them there till 4 a.m. !!!(We came to know at a later point in time that our dear ol' Indy 500 had managed to get an impact on his car on the way home - and the impact on his wallet, I hear, is also significant)...Long live Bachhus !

Saturday dawned bright and cheery - that's what people told me later - it was almost noon by the time we opened our rum-drugged eyes :-)
Off I went to forum with Nari, finally found a "Greatest Hits" of Simon & Garfunkel and was so overjoyed with my purchase that I came straight back home and fixed mahself a stiff 'un and up-ended it in one shot ! Act 3 of Bacchanalia waiting in the wings.....
Thereafter, I set about cleaning up house (a bit), when received a phone call from a guy called Prasad - thats the chap who was selling off his VCDs etc, and I spent Rs. 2000/- - in return for 45 VCDs/CDs/DVDs !!!!! (can't understand why in the world would anyone sell off a collection like that, for such rock-bottom prices !)

My joy knew no bounds - I immediately called up Guzzler's Inn (what an apt name), and booked a pool table from 830 onwards. Thence followed a hectic round of rounding up the gang - Guzzler's was the next pit-stop, and what an evening it was.....A mini-Amazon of beer and some excellent games later, it was time to leave, and off we went to NightClub 510, the newest joint in town :-)
Lord Sherawat finally found form that night (to the bad luck of Mel and myself) - some excellent punches to the right and left of our spines.....We were up till 4 again - sing a song, drink rum, play Buzz, drink rum, play a quiz, drink rum, strum the guitar, drink rum was the order of the day.....hic.....

Sunday was a lot quieter - we only had a quiet couple of drinks in the daytime followed by a quiet couple of drinks with dinner followed by a quiet couple of drinks before bed - no wonder I was dreaming of beer bottles all night.....

(This week is going to a strict diet of fresh fruit juices - resolution no. 1503).....hic...

P.S. : For the uninitiated, Bacchus is the Roman God of Wine (the Greek name being Dionysos).

Unto the Wild Blue Yonder.....

Given the fact that I have nothing much to do in office these days, a lot of my time is spent surfing the Net.....

So it was, that I happened to read the news online, and read about India's newest exploits in space, having successfully launched two new satellites simultaneously into space ("http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/photos/msid-1100000.cms") - a 1000+ kg Cartosat for mapping the earth, and a 45+ kg micro satellite for ham radio enthusiasts or some such.

That set me off on a link-click journey on India's space odyssey - and a wonderful feeling it was to read about the exploits of ISRO and all the other agencies involved in a titanic effort over the years.
Reading about military and space technology has long been my hobby, and a fresh visit to the annals of the Indian space-dream was truly an inspiring experience. At the risk of sounding melodramatic, I would go so far as to say that India's achievements in space technology (and technology in general) should rank right up there with all the modern wonders of the world. Its a story of struggle, a fight against seemingly insurmountable odds - a story akin to that of the ugly duckling, reeling under sanctions and geo-political board-games that superpowers play, who finally evolves into a lovely swan thats the cynosure of all eyes.

The saga started with the establishment of ISRO and its feeble attempts at building high-altitude rockets and weather balloons, on to the development and subsequent success of SLV (Satellite Launch Vehicle) and the beginning of the dream to reach outer space and see eye-to-eye with the established space powers. SLV was soon followed by ASLV (Augmented SLV), followed by the rather more ambitious PSLV (Polar SLV), and onwards to the grandest of them all, the GSLV (Geo-Synchronous SLV).

Quite predictably, the technological successes achieved in peaceful space flight had military spin-offs as well, and that led to the ambitious IGMDP (Integrated Guided Missile Development Program), which helped develop a slew of missiles that were at par, if not better, than others in their class - which, in no time, put India in a commanding position in the subcontinent, and, more recently, the continent itself. We have reached the stage where we can dream of the ultimate weapon - the InterContinental Ballistic Missile - that gives you a global reach and is one of the ultimate deterrents around.

This is not to portray the war-mongering aspect of the effort - it is intended, rather, to bring to attention the impact and reach of the achievements made by a few men who have worked tirelessly through rain and shine to give wings to the Indian dream.

Its not as if there weren't failures - failures there were, nay, catastrophic disasters, no less. Rockets exploding on launch, losing way and falling into the ocean, precious time and effort and money burned up in rarefied air - we've had our share of troubles and setbacks - but probably the most inspiring aspect of ISRO and the Indian effort has been its seemingly phoenix-like powers, to rise from the smouldering ashes time after time after time, to take proud flight into the endless blue skies.....

All hail the Rain God !!!

Cloudy skies, a cool breeze wafting through the trees, the smell of the newly wet earth - intoxicating...


Rained quite a bit yesterday, and I believe the entire city would have heaved a collective sigh of relief, given the unusually hot spell that we'd been having of late...
(Of course, there's no free lunches anywhere - so the price we pay for the rains are the gaping potholes which have again sprouted all over the city in absolutely no time !)

Had quite a nice evening yesterday - watched a movie "Meet the Fockers", which is a sequel to "Meet the Parents". Nicely made sequel (although it does drag just a wee bit towards the end) - Robert DeNiro is, as usual, quite smashing, and the encounters between Ben Stiller and de Niro are mostly hilarious. Barbara Streisand makes an appearance too in this one, and is funny enough as well.
All in all, a pretty decent effort on part of the makers of the film - it does tickle your funny bone, and, together with its predecessor, is a must-see - at least once.


More later - need to get mahself a chai.....

Of Beauty and Brains.....

Was reading the news online (www.timesofindia.com), and happened to chance across an article titled "Ash to date stripper on US show".....

Read through the article, took a look at our very own homegrown beauty queen, and was able to gather enough info to confirm my opinion that a beautiful smile, a creamy complexion and an attractive figure might get you far enough in bed, but doesn't qualify you as a mature and worthy ambassador of your country. Really, if dating a middle-aged ex-stripper on some TV show is part of representing your country and part of the expectations from Miss Worlds and Universes - well, I'm basically at a loss for words to describe the collective asinine inanity of the whole thing !

Given the present state of the world, where being beautiful and fashionable is increasingly synonymous with wearing less clothes and showing more flesh, I somehow tend to look askance at people who claim that beauty pageants test the inside of the brain on equal terms with the outside of the body.

I really dont understand how you can test the intelligence of a person with questions like "What would you do if given one chance to change the world ?" or "Who would you want to be born as if you were given the choice ?".

The stock-in-trade answers for the first one range from bringing about world peace (politics is child's play, after all), to eliminating poverty (just break into Bill Gate's safe ???!!!), to ending all arms races and arresting all dictators (and possibly rehabilitate them in Shantiniketan, eh ? - I guess the judges also expect the "mature" and "compassionate" side of our lovely beauties).

As for being born again, the answer is easy - mug up a few famous names (not political, mind you) ; the more do-gooder types - for example Gandhi, Mother Teresa, the late Pope John Paul - and blab about how you absolutely adored them ever since you were born (of course, our beauties had interesting childhoods, where they didn't play or watch TV or do what kids do - they were busy reading up biographies and autobiogaphies of famous people and were lending a helping hand to the poor and downtrodden of the earth).....

Which brings me to the question - is this an indicator of the evolving IQ of the 21st century homo-sapient ?

Just a thought on beauty pageants and queens of the world - I've seen the mute stone statues carved on the temples of Khajuraho - and they have a much more genuine, enthralling and sensual beauty that shines on through the ages, despite the sands of Time.....the manicured nails and pedicured feet and sculpted bodies that walk the ramps are but insignificant beings that pale in comparison.....

(I wish Ash all the best in her efforts to be our beauty ambassador to the world)

An Ode To Matrimony

Hello again...in true Bollywood-ishtyle, here's the latest "original" composition from the inhabitants of 510 !
(for those who haven't heard this before - this one's based on "We Are The World" sung by Lionel Richie, Michael Jackson and a host of other ppl).....there should be no doubt about who this particular version refers to ! ;-)

So here goes... :

Ode To Matrimony

There comes a time,
When we heed a certain call,
When the rum,
Must stop, at not more than one.

There are dishes lying,
And its time to lend a hand,
To wife,
The greatest one of all.

I can't go on,
Pretending day by day,
That I am clean,
And that my chin, doesn't need a shave.

I am just a part of,
The 415 family,
And right now, you know,
A cigarette is all I need.

(chorus)
I am the Lord,
I am the Rockstar,
I am the one,who'll make the tea today,
Once I finish sweeping.

There's a choice I'm making,
I'm cleaning my own life,
It's true we'll make a better day,
Just her and me.

Cellphone-cum-dishwasher-cum-lawnmower

The other day, I ran into a friend of mine who'd been out of station for quite some time - we were chatting away over the ubiquitious glass of whisky, when I suddenly noticed the nifty pouch strapped to his belt. It was very suggestive of a cellphone pouch, and on enquiring, sure enough, that's what it turned out to be. So what's the point, you may very well ask ?

The point is, that the gadget that came out of that pouch, looked as much like a cellphone as I look like Queen Elizabeth - which is to say, it doesn't look like a cellphone at all - in case you thought otherwise ;-).....The contraption in question had a camera, FM radio, video recorder, some xyz Mega Giga bytes of memory, touchscreen, music composer and this and that and blah-blah-blah...(I think the only things that phone couldn't do was wash the dishes and mow the lawn !!!)

So what, pray, is the cellphone intended to do ? The gadget was developed as a means of communication - to listen, to talk, and well, to SMS as well. But where are we headed today ? I hardly see anyone selling or advertising a cellphone with "x amount of talktime" or "y clarity in voice" etc.

Today, a cellphone is marketed by highlighting what all it can do apart from letting you talk - and I don't agree with that. Really, to buy a cellphone because it can take good pictures is like buying a car because the rear lights look good !

If I really want to click pictures, I'd much rather invent in a Canon Ixus, because it does what it's supposed to do. If I really want to listen to music, I'd much rather go out and buy a Sony for my house or a Blaupunkt for my car, rather than hold that darn cellphone to my ear to listen to FM. If I really need to send a mail to my customers, I'd much rather buy a laptop, with that new wi-fi thing or whatever they call it.

Do these manufacturers really think that they can usurp other goods and products by providing a step-child version of it on a cellphone ? Its possibly the biggest example of artificially-created demand in the world (if there is such a thing, that is).....

Enough rambling for now - time for me to return to my unfinished beer and siesta !